Lifestyle · music · Spiritual Journey

Just not my thing……

One struggle I have in my spiritual journey is connecting with Christian music. Gospel music.

Any kind of praise and worship.

Simply put, I just don’t prefer it as a genre. It is difficult for me to find songs, artists or even albums that I like.

Pop music, Trap music, Rhythm and Blues

all reign in my car.

I am all for Tunechi getting released from his Cash Money

contract so The Carter 5 can finally come out.

At church, I come late to avoid the music as much as possible.

That is my attitude and Holy Spirit is working on it.

So God send’s “River of Jordan” by Lecrae…my way…through Google Play.  🙂

Lecrae is a Grammy-winning hip-hop artist who is of faith.

The song is featured on the soundtrack for the 2017 movie, “The Shack”.

*loved this book*

Just like the novel and movie, the song details the journey of a relationship with God.

The journey begins with a person filled with pain, sadness and frustration:

What ya’ll want
I can’t live, can’t be free
I can’t be here
Gave my sweat gave my tears
Gave up all the best of my years
I done gave everything
I ain’t gained anything
Just pain and more sadness

Coming to God with a rebellious spirit, “Nah I ain’t livin’ for your love, Case dismissed I don’t need another judge”.

He isn’t living for God’s love or judgement of his life.

Which was modeled for him through religion.

This leads to the simple yet powerful chorus, at least for me:

I’m losing my religion
I’ve realized I wasn’t built for these conditions

By time the second verse ends, he has developed a relationship with God. Understands that even though they didn’t choose God, God chose them. Regardless of their flaws.

But faith keeps me from folding
It’s all I got left I’m left here with no one
I ain’t choose You but You say I’m chosen
And when I feel lost the cross all I hope in
I lost my religion but I found God
Sounds odd but I’m better at seeing how far
Did I come from the dark is the nights to the light
Irregardless of all of my many flaws

When Lecrae repeats the line, “I ain’t livin’ for your love, Case dismissed I don’t need another judge”, the tone has changed from a rebellious Spirit towards God to one towards the world.

He isn’t living for their love, only God’s love. He doesn’t need the world’s judgement, only God’s.

This song gave me life!

As soon as I heard it,there was an immediate connection with my Spirit.

Lecrae’s rap style combined with Breyan Issac’s voice makes for a great song.

Being on a spiritual journey is personal. Convictions are personal. Healing is personal.

For me, the only way for these truth to be revealed is through a relationship with God not through the rules of denominations/religion.

Only He knows our heart.

God know’s how He fearfully and wonderfully made me.

He knows the struggle.